"My Nominee"

I don't remember the actual date/day, I was filing some bank form or something related, I was asked for my nominee as usual, but this time a sudden reaction I noticed in thoughts. A sudden strange feeling started pouring my heart. It was my my nominee. Then I recalled all memories regarding filling such kind of forms where nominee name was required to fill compulsory.

(I have always been filling a single name for my nominee for all these years. Its my father. For everyone a nominee can be different people, but who actually puts his father's name as a nominee, would connect to me directly.)

I continued to my form, but writing a name took me long hours. It was nostalgic and memories of my life. I remember everything my father did for me. I was quite a dumb up to teenage, where all of my friends were behaving mature and responsible. I didn't know how to pay school fee, how to fill any kind of form, how to withdraw money from bank, how to apply for a driving licence, how to open a bank account, how to get passport, how to purchase things in market, how to manage money, how to spend it and how to save it. Its still continues today up to some extent. My nominee was doing everything I had to. May be he was more responsible or I was careless and lazy as well. May be he loved and cared more than I deserved. 

I made my mind that my father is most responsible person of the world and I'm the less deserved son of that most responsible father. To me, he has been perfect. Quite late, but I started learning things to do my own. I remember my dumb adolescent version and I smile a bit. I've always had a great inspiration in front of me everyday. I'm kind of intolerant, have less patience, short tempered by nature. Sometimes Its because of this feeling that I'm not even 10% of my father. I try, I get failed, I try again and it continues. This repeated effort makes me impatient. There are many things similar to my father. When I sneeze, I sound exactly like him. We both have great connection with kids. Family is first priority for both of us. We both want to coop-up with this world. We both spend unnecessary for nothing. We don't care for money when it comes to our loved ones. 

I'm jobless these day (Except my part time online works), my father is the only person who never took a dig on me for leaving my job or else everyone keeps pinching me now and then. May be he is the only person who understands me. I faced every situation as I've always had a strong back. He understands what do I need and why? He knows how dumb still I am. There are so much to figure out that how does he do these all by himself. 

He is getting old, but he still works harder as and than a government employee works in India. He comes home late these days. His boss is a peace of sh*t. My father is calm, responsible, respectable, peaceful, hard working, talks less but expresses more. He and I share a same dream of having our own home, hopefully we complete it soon. I have my hero right in front of me. Right through the age, a little conversation gap comes in our Indian people, or else when we used to enjoy movies without telling my mother in my childhood. I miss those days. I always try to be soften to him and hide my impatient and arrogant nature. His nature controls my nature. I'm little good, its just because I'm a part of a best father. 

Some tears rolled down from my eyes and I wrote my father's name again as my nominee. 

This blog is dedicated for my father.

Pritam

Day 1

Sometimes its not that hard, you always think. It just needs a first step. So I call this my first step. I have read and googled much about writing, but seriously everything was just like theoretical part. I thought, lets go for practical. I started, because I'm not worried that someone is reading or not, like it or not. This is for me and whoever is reading. Yes, I do have a little greed and that is I want a little raise in the standard of my language and I want to be more capable for exploring myself. I hope my language is not that poor and is easy to understand. My vocabulary is pain for me sometimes, but I keep working on it.

Let me introduce myself a little. A little is enough for all of us. Please don't worry, I'm not posting a fully updated bio-data to bother everyone. My name is Pritam Kumar Sahu, I wrote PritamKS to make it short. Almost a year back I left my job. I'm a mechanical engineer by profession and was working in a Power Plant as Planning Engineer. I've been searching for new job, but couldn't make it through. I started a #workfromhome online job for little earning and still have enough time to read and research whatever I want to. 

I'm feeling a little out of content now, haha. But that just happens in your first day (a consolation from me to myself). I was self proclaimed 'Aimless' as I always had a doubt about my career. I've been kept searching my goals and my interest but never found anything. This jobless year taught me many lessons and gave me an experience of the life. Finally I did set a goal for me, looks little hard but at the same time that excites me very much and it worths going on. 

Next July I will be turning 30. How everyone judges me, unstable, unmarried, lazy, doing nothing, wasting time and so on. And how do I feel about this? Unfortunately, I don't care it all. I keep motivating myself. I don't care for a set life, stable job, happily married with two kids, growing old. Sad to say, but these all turns me down. I feel this life is a journey and a journey is never a smooth way to the destiny. Yon get affected by climate, condition of roads, your health, available knowledge, resources and much more things in both good and bad ways. But what I've learnt with my past experiences is to keep moving and nothing is permanent. 

God is greater than we think. So we keep moving and god holds our back. I will keep sharing my experiences and life. Thank you for the patience to read. Stay healthy, stay blessed.

Pritam